Chiropractors - What you need to know!

Since I have had so much backpain as of late, many well-meaning but totally misguided friends have suggested I visit a chiropractor. I reject the idea outright, because quite frankly it's for the most part a complete scam and a danger. I thought I would put together a bit of information which better proves my point rather than just sound like an opinionated oaf!

Anyone want to guess who created chiropractic medicine? What kind of medical expert discovered the merits of this "science" through years of painstaking research?! Oh, well it wasn't a doctor, nor a specialist in anatomy, nope it was a grocer...yes that's right, the creator of this wonderful medical procedure was a grocer!!! Daniel David Palmer, not only was a grocer but he also practiced the art of magnetic healing. Don't fear he did read some books on anatomy before he began suggesting that people pull on each others spines. His central theory was that a subluxated vertebra… is the cause of 95 percent of all diseases. …The other five percent is caused by displaced joints other than those of the vertebral. Do you believe that?! All disease is caused by the spine?! seriously what the fuck?! Ok, we know better now right?

The Association of Chiropractic Colleges bolstered support for this theory in 1996 when the presidents of all 16 North American chiropractic colleges reached a consensus and issued a position paper stating that "Chiropractic is concerned with the preservation and restoration of health, and focuses particular attention on the subluxation."
(Association of Chiropractic Colleges. A position paper on chiropractic. Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics 19:633-637, 1997)

So the question begging to be answered is what is a subluxated vertebra? According to Wikipedia a vertebral subluxation is defined by chiropractors as a relatively common condition in which a spinal vertebra has lost its proper juxtaposition with one or both of its neighboring vertebrae.

Well that is not entirely acurate if you google this subject you will find that some chiropractors argue that subluxation may not only be out of place vertebra but it could also be joints or joint mobility or pinched nerves or...well the list goes on, it turns out that lots of chiropractors have lots of ideas about what subluxation is, but they hold one thing in common...give them money, and dammit they will fix it! And fixing it can cure not only backpain, but also asthma, acne, arthritus, MS, high blod pressure hell...it can even help with cancer! Don't believe me? Google for a chiropractor and see the claims they make.

Listen to how one site explains subluxation

When spinal bones are not in their proper place, the openings between them can narrow. The vertebrae can impinge on the nerves branching out from these spaces. This is commonly, though inaccurately, known as a "pinched nerve."

This interferes with the normal flow of energy along the nerve fibers. Messages traveling along the nerves will be distorted. If the full, normal energy flow cannot pass to and from the brain, some part of the body will be adversely affected

I guess I missed the part where energy passed through nerve endings...love the new age twist to it, very much like the other favorite of mine "Chi". Sorry to break it to the world, our nerves are not like fucking hoses!!! Seriously...people buy this crap!?

From the same site:

Unfortunately, there are many cells and organs in the body that do not send out any alarms to alert us that they are not functioning at 100% capacity. Because of vertebral subluxations, they will not be receiving a normal flow of energy. The instructions from the body's Innate Intelligence will not be getting through properly.

If a subluxation continues undetected, the organ may suffer great damage, yet we won't even be aware of it! Because subluxations can destroy a person's health without any visible signs, they are often called "the silent killer."

Ummmm...wow...

There is evidence that spinal manipulation can help with back pain and neck pain, I will not deny that. By spinal manipulation I mean, stretching, physical therapy, massage etc! According to a study published in the October 8, 1998, New England Journal of Medicine, spinal manipulation done by a chiropractor may be no more effective than physical therapy in the treatment of back pain and only marginally more effective than following a self-help instruction booklet. hmmm stretching yourself maybe as effective as paying thousands of dollars to a chiropractor...interesting!

I will address neck manipulations in another blog...because they are just wow...so bad I cant stand it...