Regrets

My son often brings up hard subjects, he asked me the other day if I had any regrets. Pretty hard question coming from a 7 year old!

I think over the last 3 years I have a couple of pretty major regrets, that are related. I regret wasting so much of my life behind the computer. I think its fair to say I developed a pretty bad video game addiction which sucked away years of my life. I of course had a great justification for my addiction, 'escapism'...getting away from lifes very real and very large stresses. Of course, hiding from lifes problems makes the problems worse not better.

I think the allure of game addiction is strong, and in the end it does nothing but damage ones life and relationships. I have blown up thousands of internet spaceships, conquered hundreds of dungeons...and....so fucking what?! All of those victories and losses mean nothing...I can say all of that time was truly wasted, I have not one thing to show for all of the time I spent wasting away behind the computer, not one.

The other real regret I have is that I have been so passive in my life. I have spent years waiting around for life to happen to me rather than working towards the life I want.

I am the king of self justification, always blaming other peoples actions or inactions for me not working towards the life I want. I know alot of people do the same, blaming their own actions or more correctly inactions on what others do or dont do, its always someone elses fault!!! Frankly its bullshit...if you want something out of life, you need to go after it and work on it...